Vol. 1, No. 1 · 25¢ thefestivusproject.com

THE DAILY NOTHING

July 5, 1989 New York Final Edition
S01E01 · Season 1, Episode 1 of 180

The Seinfeld Chronicles

A woman Jerry met on tour asks to stay at his apartment, triggering an exhaustive analysis by Jerry and George over whether the visit constitutes a date. Neighbor Kessler raids Jerry's fridge and spoils a taped Mets game while Jerry prepares a spare bed just in case. The signals were, in fact, unreadable — she's engaged.

What's The Deal?

Jerry's GirlfriendLauraEngaged to someone else
References
New York Mets

Based on: Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld's real diner conversations

Before its time: Overanalyzing visit signals predicts modern dating anxiety

The Full Story

At Pete's Luncheonette, Jerry Seinfeld nitpicks George Costanza for choosing a shirt with a high second button. Laura, a woman Jerry met while on tour in Lansing, Michigan, has asked to visit while in NYC. They assume it's a date, but George second-guesses after hearing Laura's exact words. He concludes that she only called Jerry as a backup, and Claire, their waitress, agrees. Since George did not trust Claire to serve him decaf as asked, she pranks him with regular coffee. At the laundromat, George's exasperation over Laura's "signals" finally bursts Jerry's bubble. Bored out of his mind, George stops Jerry's dryer cycle early when Jerry refuses to.

Late at night, Jerry's neighbor Kessler hunts for sandwich meat in Jerry's fridge; spoils a Mets game that Jerry taped; and tears an article out of a magazine that Jerry is reading. Laura suddenly calls and asks for an airport pickup and to stay over. Jerry's hopes are renewed, but he cautiously prepares a spare bed just in case. George, reading between the lines again, is now sure that Laura wants to sleep with Jerry, and he and Kessler reprimand Jerry for accommodating her too much. Kessler's dog bounds in and drinks from Jerry's toilet.

At the airport, George teaches Jerry how to interpret Laura's body language on arrival, but Laura surprises Jerry with a peekaboo from behind, confounding George. Arriving at Jerry's, Laura makes herself comfortable and dims the lights for them to share some wine. They agree to spend another day and night together, and go on a sightseeing boat ride. Despite her friendliness, Jerry suddenly learns that Laura is engaged when her fiancé calls. Unperturbed, Laura suggests that he and Jerry should meet, while Jerry gapes dumbfounded.