The Social Crimes Blotter

Jerry and George spend an entire evening analyzing whether a woman wants to sleep with him. She's engaged.

Jerry stakes out an office building to ambush a woman he met at a party. George invents Art Vandelay.

Kramer borrows a spatula and forgets to close the door. Jerry gets robbed.

Jerry tries to break up with a childhood friend using the line "it's not you, it's me." The friend cries and Jerry folds immediately.

Jerry tries to break up with a childhood friend using the line "it's not you, it's me." The friend cries and Jerry folds immediately.

George convinces Jerry to invest in a stock tip. The tipper gets hospitalized before saying when to sell.

Jerry insults anyone who grew up with a pony at a family dinner. Cousin Manya had one in Poland and dies the next day.

Jerry buys a suede jacket to meet Elaine's father. Her father makes them walk five blocks in a snowstorm.

George leaves an angry message on a woman's answering machine. He and Jerry stage an elaborate heist to swap the tape before she hears it.

George leaves an angry message on a woman's answering machine. He and Jerry stage an elaborate heist to swap the tape before she hears it.

Jerry gets Elaine an apartment upstairs for four hundred dollars a month. Every date will now be in her earshot.

A statue goes missing after Jerry's apartment gets cleaned. Kramer impersonates a detective to get it back and George drops it again.

George quits his job in a rage, shows up Monday pretending nothing happened, then plots to spike his boss with a Mickey.

George quits his job in a rage, shows up Monday pretending nothing happened, then plots to spike his boss with a Mickey.

Jerry and Elaine establish rules for sleeping together without drama. Kramer gives her a bench and a Yeats poem for her birthday.

George rehearses an explosive confrontation with the woman who ruined his shirt years ago. He approaches her and bootlicks instead.

They wait for a table at a Chinese restaurant. The maitre d' seats everyone but them, and they leave just as he calls their name.

They wait for a table at a Chinese restaurant. The maitre d' seats everyone but them, and they leave just as he calls their name.

George gets a busboy fired, loses his cat, breaks his lamp, then discovers the firing saved him from a gas explosion.

Three people commit insurance fraud for free massages. George gets assigned a male masseur and spends the week questioning his sexuality.

George tells his girlfriend the truth about why he's breaking up. She checks into a depression clinic with Jerry's tax records.

Jerry accepts an astronaut pen in a retirement community. It triggers a fistfight at the condo president's honor ceremony.

A stranger on a plane guilt-trips Jerry into dog-sitting. The dog is hostile enough to cancel all of Jerry's plans for days.

A library cop hunts Jerry down over a twenty-year-old book. The book is with George's homeless former gym teacher.

Four people try to find their car in a parking garage. That's the whole episode.

George recruits Elaine to take an IQ test for him through a restaurant window. She scores 151 on the second try and 85 on the first.

Elaine leaves a sexual message on Jerry's tape recorder as a prank. All three men end up fighting over the tape.

George can't look past his girlfriend's nose. Kramer suggests surgery to her face.

George ditches Jerry and Elaine at a Long Island party to sleep with a coworker. The host later gets Jerry arrested for solicitation.

George ditches Jerry and Elaine at a Long Island party to sleep with a coworker. The host later gets Jerry arrested for solicitation.

George ditches Jerry and Elaine at a Long Island party to sleep with a coworker. The host later gets Jerry arrested for solicitation.

George takes over the neighborhood's alternate-side parking job. He causes a gridlock that delays an ambulance and shuts down a Woody Allen film shoot.

George buys Elaine a cashmere sweater with a tiny red dot. Every single person who touches it spots the defect.

George buys Elaine a cashmere sweater with a tiny red dot. Every single person who touches it spots the defect.

The group splits up on the subway and each has a terrible day. Kramer wins big at the track and pays for dinner.

Jerry places a Pez dispenser on Elaine's knee during a piano recital. Her uncontrollable laughter ruins the performance and George's relationship.

Jerry dates his neighbor's girlfriend after the neighbor attempts suicide. George consults a psychic who goes into labor before finishing her warning.

Jerry and Elaine set up George with Elaine's desperate friend. Kramer distributes free condoms that turn out to be defective.

Jerry and Elaine set up George with Elaine's desperate friend. Kramer distributes free condoms that turn out to be defective.

Jerry meets Keith Hernandez and develops what amounts to a man-crush. George invents a job at Vandelay Industries as a latex salesman.

George's unemployment fraud collapses when Kramer answers the phone honestly. He faceplants out of the bathroom with his pants down.

George impersonates a passenger to steal a free limo ride. He's assumed the identity of a neo-Nazi leader on his way to give a speech.

Jerry witnesses a hit-and-run and dates the driver. George sleeps with a married woman because her husband never says God bless you.

Jerry witnesses a hit-and-run and dates the driver. George sleeps with a married woman because her husband never says God bless you.

Jerry's girlfriend sends him a passionate love letter. It's word-for-word from the Neil Simon film Chapter Two.

Jerry's girlfriend sends him a passionate love letter. It's word-for-word from the Neil Simon film Chapter Two.

George and Kramer's friend both claim the same parking space. The standoff lasts into the night with the entire neighborhood taking sides.

George and Kramer's friend both claim the same parking space. The standoff lasts into the night with the entire neighborhood taking sides.

Jerry takes back his spare keys from Kramer. The broken covenant of the keys sends Kramer to Los Angeles where he ends up on Murphy Brown.

Jerry takes back his spare keys from Kramer. The broken covenant of the keys sends Kramer to Los Angeles where he ends up on Murphy Brown.

Jerry and George fly to L.A. for The Tonight Show. Kramer gets arrested as a serial killer.

Kramer returns from Los Angeles without explanation. The real killer was in the back seat all along.

NBC wants Jerry to pitch a TV show. George walks out of the meeting defending his artistic integrity.

Kramer gets kicked in the head and shows up half-shaved saying "Yo-Yo Ma." NBC offers them a pilot anyway.

Uncle Leo fishes Jerry's watch out of the trash twice. George bluffs his way into a worse deal.

George begs his way into the NBC president's apartment and accepts less money just to leave. Jerry's girlfriend has a laugh like Elmer Fudd sitting on a juicer.

They visit a boy in a bubble. George fights him over whether it's "Moors" or "Moops."

The cabin burns down. Letters in the ruins reveal Susan's father had an affair with John Cheever.

Crazy Joe Davola dresses as a clown and buys the seat behind them at the opera. Kramer has always been afraid of clowns.

Jerry and George have one day to write their NBC pilot. A delivery boy crashes his bike and nobody has any food.

George's mother catches him with her Glamour magazine. The contest begins.

Jerry rides first class while Elaine suffers in coach on the same flight. George taunts a handcuffed convict over the last copy of Time.

Jerry rides first class while Elaine suffers in coach on the same flight. George taunts a handcuffed convict over the last copy of Time.

Elaine's Christmas card exposes her nipple to everyone she knows. Jerry defends nose-picking by quoting The Merchant of Venice.

Elaine's Christmas card exposes her nipple to everyone she knows. Jerry defends nose-picking by quoting The Merchant of Venice.

Four people spend an entire evening trying to see the same movie. Nobody can break a twenty.

Four people spend an entire evening trying to see the same movie. Nobody can break a twenty.

Jerry pretends to be suicidally depressed so George looks funny by comparison. Babu Bhatt gets deported to Pakistan.

George gets caught staring at a teenager's cleavage and the pilot is canceled. Elaine wears a low-cut dress to save the deal.

George gets caught staring at a teenager's cleavage and the pilot is canceled. Elaine wears a low-cut dress to save the deal.

A journalism student overhears Elaine's prank and publishes a story outing Jerry and George as a couple. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

The group volunteers to visit the elderly. George gets his false teeth pulverized in a garbage disposal.

The group volunteers to visit the elderly. George gets his false teeth pulverized in a garbage disposal.

Elaine investigates whether Jerry's girlfriend has breast implants by grabbing them in a sauna. They're real and spectacular.

Kramer drops a Junior Mint into a patient during surgery. The doctors call it a miracle from above.

A valet leaves body odor in Jerry's car so powerful it survives professional detailing. They try tomato sauce on Elaine's hair as a last resort.

George parks in a handicap spot and a mob destroys his father's car. He becomes Frank's butler to pay it back.

The Jerry pilot goes into production. A depressing bald man in sweatpants plays George.

Elaine confesses she faked every orgasm with Jerry. He demands a rematch to save their friendship.

Elaine confesses she faked every orgasm with Jerry. He demands a rematch to save their friendship.

Jerry agrees to wear a shirt on national television. He didn't hear the terms.

George's glasses get stolen so he wears prescription swim goggles. His credibility collapses when he bites into an onion thinking it's an apple.

The accountant keeps sniffing so they assume he's on cocaine. Elaine breaks up with her boyfriend over a missing exclamation point.

The accountant keeps sniffing so they assume he's on cocaine. Elaine breaks up with her boyfriend over a missing exclamation point.

The mohel is so high-strung he accidentally circumcises Jerry's finger. Kramer is convinced the hospital is creating pig-men.

Jerry dates a deaf lineswoman and uses her lip-reading to spy on George's ex. Kramer's rusty sign language turns everything into gibberish.

Jerry dates a deaf lineswoman and uses her lip-reading to spy on George's ex. Kramer's rusty sign language turns everything into gibberish.

The non-fat yogurt contains fat. This accidentally helps Rudy Giuliani win the mayoral election.

George can't tell if he was hired so he just shows up and starts working. Jerry cheats on his barber of twelve years.

George can't tell if he was hired so he just shows up and starts working. Jerry cheats on his barber of twelve years.

Jerry's masseuse girlfriend refuses to give him a massage. George becomes obsessed with being liked by a woman who hates him.

Jerry buys a cigar store Indian as an apology gift, then performs a tribal chant in front of Elaine's Native American friend.

Jerry buys a cigar store Indian as an apology gift, then performs a tribal chant in front of Elaine's Native American friend.

George converts to Latvian Orthodoxy to keep dating his girlfriend. She moves to Latvia for a year.

Jerry's girlfriend refuses to spare Elaine a square of toilet paper. This launches a war of attrition.

They go to pick up wine and cake before a dinner party. The double parker who traps them turns out to be a dead ringer for Saddam Hussein.

They go to pick up wine and cake before a dinner party. The double parker who traps them turns out to be a dead ringer for Saddam Hussein.

George pretends to be a marine biologist. Then the ocean calls his bluff.

Jerry watches Poppie knead pizza dough without washing his hands after using the bathroom. When the pizza arrives, Jerry refuses to eat.

Jerry watches Poppie knead pizza dough without washing his hands after using the bathroom. When the pizza arrives, Jerry refuses to eat.

Jerry's hospitalized friend is so morose no joke lands. Round two goes so well the friend dies of laughter.

Jerry and his girlfriend pretend to be married for a dry cleaning discount. She finds another woman's laundry in his hamper.

Elaine's close-talking boyfriend keeps whisking Jerry's parents away on romantic outings. George sells his father's clothes and eulogizes him for twenty-five extra dollars.

Newman catches Jerry making out during Schindler's List and tattles to both sets of parents. The house gets robbed through the window Jack smashed.

George tramples women, children, the elderly, and a clown to escape a fire. Kramer fights off a gunman while driving a runaway bus to save someone's severed toe.

George tramples women, children, the elderly, and a clown to escape a fire. Kramer fights off a gunman while driving a runaway bus to save someone's severed toe.

George's girlfriend walks in on him after a swim and laughs at his shrinkage. She tells everyone.

George's girlfriend walks in on him after a swim and laughs at his shrinkage. She tells everyone.

George does the opposite of every instinct he's ever had. It all works.

George does the opposite of every instinct he's ever had. It all works.

Jerry dumps ice water on trained doves the night before a pageant. They were his date's talent act.

George pays for a big salad but someone else hands it over. He cannot let this go.

George pays for a big salad but someone else hands it over. He cannot let this go.

Jerry cashes his grandmother's birthday checks and overdraws her bank account. Mr. Pitt eats a Snickers with a knife and fork.

Jerry cashes his grandmother's birthday checks and overdraws her bank account. Mr. Pitt eats a Snickers with a knife and fork.

A woman named Donna Chang gives Confucian wisdom over the phone. She's white.

A woman named Donna Chang gives Confucian wisdom over the phone. She's white.

Poppie sits on Jerry's new couch and has an accident. It's day one.

Poppie sits on Jerry's new couch and has an accident. It's day one.

Jerry dates an Olympic gymnast expecting acrobatic rewards. She considers flexibility only useful in gymnastics.

Jerry dates an Olympic gymnast expecting acrobatic rewards. She considers flexibility only useful in gymnastics.

Jerry dates an Olympic gymnast expecting acrobatic rewards. She considers flexibility only useful in gymnastics.

Bania gives Jerry a suit, then holds him hostage for dinner. Soup doesn't count as a meal.

Bania gives Jerry a suit, then holds him hostage for dinner. Soup doesn't count as a meal.

Bania gives Jerry a suit, then holds him hostage for dinner. Soup doesn't count as a meal.

George buys a car that belonged to Jon Voight. The real Voight bites Kramer.

George hires a plain secretary to avoid temptation. He sleeps with her immediately.

George hires a plain secretary to avoid temptation. He sleeps with her immediately.

Jerry won a high school race because of an accidental head start. Twenty years later, he gets another one.

Jerry won a high school race because of an accidental head start. Twenty years later, he gets another one.

Jerry proposes a menage a trois to switch roommates. Both women say yes.

Jerry proposes a menage a trois to switch roommates. Both women say yes.

Super Bowl tickets get gifted, de-gifted, and re-gifted. Jerry ends up sitting next to Newman.

Super Bowl tickets get gifted, de-gifted, and re-gifted. Jerry ends up sitting next to Newman.

Super Bowl tickets get gifted, de-gifted, and re-gifted. Jerry ends up sitting next to Newman.

Gary fakes cancer, gets a toupee from the sympathy, uses it to meet women. Jerry rips it off his head.

Gary fakes cancer, gets a toupee from the sympathy, uses it to meet women. Jerry rips it off his head.

George goes on a blind date with a bald woman. She dumps him for being shallow.

George goes on a blind date with a bald woman. She dumps him for being shallow.

Kramer posts everyone's photo in the building lobby. Jerry gets ostracized for refusing to kiss hello.

Kramer posts everyone's photo in the building lobby. Jerry gets ostracized for refusing to kiss hello.

Kramer posts everyone's photo in the building lobby. Jerry gets ostracized for refusing to kiss hello.

A hostile doorman guilts Jerry into covering his post. A couch gets stolen on his watch.

A hostile doorman guilts Jerry into covering his post. A couch gets stolen on his watch.

Jimmy talks in the third person. Everyone starts doing it.

Jimmy talks in the third person. Everyone starts doing it.

George finds a doodle his girlfriend drew. It makes him look hideous.

George finds a doodle his girlfriend drew. It makes him look hideous.

George finds a doodle his girlfriend drew. It makes him look hideous.

Elaine's boyfriend uses Jerry's signature move in bed. Jerry revokes the license.

Elaine's boyfriend uses Jerry's signature move in bed. Jerry revokes the license.

Jerry approves a dangerous drug combination while pretending to be a pharmacist. Mr. Pitt ends up in the hospital.

Jerry approves a dangerous drug combination while pretending to be a pharmacist. Mr. Pitt ends up in the hospital.

Puddy paints his face for a playoff game. A priest thinks he's seen the devil.

Puddy paints his face for a playoff game. A priest thinks he's seen the devil.

George body-checks Bette Midler at home plate. Her understudy gets the lead in Rochelle Rochelle.

George body-checks Bette Midler at home plate. Her understudy gets the lead in Rochelle Rochelle.

George and Jerry vow to change their lives. Jerry breaks the pact immediately, George gets engaged, and Kramer gets arrested for dognapping.

George tries to postpone his wedding. He cries instead, and Susan finds it so touching she agrees to the delay.

George gives a security guard a rocking chair. The guard sleeps through a robbery.

Jerry obsesses over waking a marathon runner on time. Kramer's hot tub kills the power and every alarm clock in the building.

A man opens a soup stand so good people will tolerate anything. No soup for you.

George reveals his ATM code to a dying woman. She repeats it as her final word, leaving Peterman convinced George murdered his mother.

George's worlds are colliding when Susan befriends his friends. Independent George is being killed.

Elaine hoards 60 contraceptive sponges and decides which men are sponge-worthy. George dumps a woman for being too good.

Everyone tiptoes around Lloyd Braun's nervous breakdown, forcing Jerry to wear glasses that blind him. George's car catches fire and the florist's hose is disconnected.

Frank steals back his marble rye after the Rosses don't serve it. Jerry mugs an old woman for bread and George reels it up with a fishing pole.

Frank steals back his marble rye after the Rosses don't serve it. Jerry mugs an old woman for bread and George reels it up with a fishing pole.

George locks his keys in his car at work. Steinbrenner thinks he's working around the clock, then declares him dead when the car turns up wrecked and bloody.

George picks the baby name Seven after Mickey Mantle. Susan's cousin steals it for her own child.

Jerry buys his parents a Cadillac. The condo board assumes embezzlement and impeaches his father.

Low-flow showerheads make showering impossible. Newman finds black market Yugoslavian replacements while Kramer picks an elephant model that blasts him out of the tub.

Jerry carries an enormous wedding gift on a plane. It contains a welcome mat the size of a placemat from a FedEx executive.

Jerry accidentally steals a Friars Club jacket. A magician makes it disappear, and George chases a performer through the street to get the wrong one back.

A ponytailed sales clerk strings Elaine along with a fake dress discount. Kramer gets arrested as a pimp after borrowing a technicolor dreamcoat from a Joseph cast member.

A ponytailed sales clerk strings Elaine along with a fake dress discount. Kramer gets arrested as a pimp after borrowing a technicolor dreamcoat from a Joseph cast member.

George accidentally becomes Steinbrenner's right-hand man by sharing his calzone. He gets banned from the restaurant for appearing to steal from the tip jar.

Elaine overbids on JFK's golf clubs at Sotheby's. Newman and Kramer's bottle-deposit arbitrage scheme sends them toward Michigan in a mail truck.

Kramer chases Jerry's stolen car across Ohio, dumping Newman on the highway to go faster. Tony hurls JFK's golf clubs at the truck one by one.

Kramer chases Jerry's stolen car across Ohio, dumping Newman on the highway to go faster. Tony hurls JFK's golf clubs at the truck one by one.

George jokes that a wife could do better than her husband. They break up, and Jerry and Elaine immediately try to date the newly single halves.

Susan dies from licking toxic wedding invitation envelopes. Jerry proposes to his exact double and immediately regrets it.

Susan's parents trap George on the foundation board of the woman he accidentally killed. Jerry learns that widowers are irresistible to women.

George plants a tape recorder at the Susan Ross Foundation and gets back screams, a thud, and an unconvincing explanation about furniture.

George plants a tape recorder at the Susan Ross Foundation and gets back screams, a thud, and an unconvincing explanation about furniture.

Elaine discovers a Bizarro world where everyone is polite and the apartment is backwards. They expel her for shoving.

Elaine dances at her company party and loses all authority. Jerry gets forced into bootlegging at gunpoint.

Elaine's medical chart labels her difficult and follows her to every doctor in the city. Newman interrogates Jerry for mail fraud in a Basic Instinct parody.

Elaine's medical chart labels her difficult and follows her to every doctor in the city. Newman interrogates Jerry for mail fraud in a Basic Instinct parody.

Elaine can't fire a mailroom employee in fatigues so she promotes him twice instead. Frank Costanza's Korean War PTSD gets triggered at Jewish singles night.

Twelve-cent royalty checks pile up from a Japanese TV show. Kramer spends all his tourists' money because he doesn't know what fifty thousand yen is worth.

A neon chicken bathes Kramer's apartment in red light. He swaps apartments with Jerry and immediately gets addicted to the chicken.

Sexual abstinence turns George into a genius. It has the opposite effect on Elaine.

George argues to a tenant board that his life has been worse than an Andrea Doria survivor's. He loses the apartment anyway.

Kramer enters a rooster named Little Jerry Seinfeld in a cock fight to get Jerry's bounced check taken down. George dates a prison inmate who can't pop in.

Jerry's parents sell their Cadillac to give him money after he bounced a check. Jerry buys it back from Jack Klompus, who drives it into a swamp.

George flies to Akron to deliver the perfect comeback. It gets immediately topped.

George flies to Akron to deliver the perfect comeback. It gets immediately topped.

Kramer accidentally flashes a street gang's sign while holding a garlic shaker. Eight fingers for Martin Van Buren, the eighth president.

A coworker calls Elaine "Susie" and Elaine never corrects her. Susie gets her own assignments, a memorial service, and a foundation.

Jerry knocks his girlfriend's toothbrush into the toilet and she uses it before he can tell her. He eventually throws away everything he owns.

Jerry knocks his girlfriend's toothbrush into the toilet and she uses it before he can tell her. He eventually throws away everything he owns.

Elaine hates The English Patient so much it gets her sent to live in a cave in Tunisia. George becomes obsessed with a woman's boyfriend because they look alike.

Elaine hates The English Patient so much it gets her sent to live in a cave in Tunisia. George becomes obsessed with a woman's boyfriend because they look alike.

George builds a secret bed inside his desk at work. Jerry calls in a bomb threat to evacuate Steinbrenner from George's office.

George builds a secret bed inside his desk at work. Jerry calls in a bomb threat to evacuate Steinbrenner from George's office.

George's girlfriend uses "yada yada yada" to skip over important parts of stories. His dentist converts to Judaism for the jokes.

George's girlfriend uses "yada yada yada" to skip over important parts of stories. His dentist converts to Judaism for the jokes.

The Mets secretly recruit George but he needs to get fired first. Every attempt to sabotage himself backfires into praise.

The Mets secretly recruit George but he needs to get fired first. Every attempt to sabotage himself backfires into praise.

George wears a tourist's abandoned clothes and gets mistaken for a visitor from Arkansas. Elaine opens a muffin-top-only store but can't get rid of the stumps.

George gets a three-month severance and never leaves his apartment. His legs atrophy so badly he slips on an invitation and ends up in the hospital.

Kramer shaves with butter and falls asleep in the sun. Newman tries to eat him.

Kramer shaves with butter and falls asleep in the sun. Newman tries to eat him.

Jerry chooses doing a talking-stomach voice over keeping his girlfriend. Then his friends get tired of the voice.

Jerry chooses doing a talking-stomach voice over keeping his girlfriend. Then his friends get tired of the voice.

Frank Costanza screams "Serenity now!" to manage his anger. Jerry expresses an emotion for the first time and proposes to Elaine.

Frank Costanza screams "Serenity now!" to manage his anger. Jerry expresses an emotion for the first time and proposes to Elaine.

George integrates a pastrami sandwich into his sex life. He ends up watching TV at the same time.

George integrates a pastrami sandwich into his sex life. He ends up watching TV at the same time.

Kramer bricks up his mailbox to stop junk mail. The Postmaster General has him abducted.

Kramer bricks up his mailbox to stop junk mail. The Postmaster General has him abducted.

Kramer finds a talk show set in a dumpster. He starts hosting.

Kramer finds a talk show set in a dumpster. He starts hosting.

George spots himself in a beach photo on his new boss's wall. From the day he threw their boombox in the ocean.

George spots himself in a beach photo on his new boss's wall. From the day he threw their boombox in the ocean.

Told entirely in reverse. The gang flies to India for a wedding that collapses when George loudly repeats that Elaine slept with the groom.

Told entirely in reverse. The gang flies to India for a wedding that collapses when George loudly repeats that Elaine slept with the groom.

Jerry's girlfriend walks around naked in nonsexual contexts. This is great until she coughs.

Jerry's girlfriend walks around naked in nonsexual contexts. This is great until she coughs.

Frank Costanza invents a holiday. It involves an aluminum pole.

Frank Costanza invents a holiday. It involves an aluminum pole.

Jerry tries to buy a car through Puddy's insider deal. Elaine and Puddy's breakup turns his discount into full markup.

Jerry tries to buy a car through Puddy's insider deal. Elaine and Puddy's breakup turns his discount into full markup.

Kramer and Newman reverse their peepholes to spot ambushes inside their apartments. The super attacks Joe Mayo with a sock full of pennies.

Kramer and Newman reverse their peepholes to spot ambushes inside their apartments. The super attacks Joe Mayo with a sock full of pennies.

Sally Weaver turns Jerry's private criticism into a sold-out one-woman show. Every cease-and-desist becomes fresh material.

Sally Weaver turns Jerry's private criticism into a sold-out one-woman show. Every cease-and-desist becomes fresh material.

George tries to cheat on his girlfriend to force a breakup. Both women agree to share him.

George tries to cheat on his girlfriend to force a breakup. Both women agree to share him.

George lies about buying a house in the Hamptons. Neither side will admit he's lying, so he drives them all the way to the tip of Long Island.

Elaine discovers Puddy is religious but doesn't care that she's going to Hell. A priest informs them they're both going to Hell for premarital sex.

Elaine discovers Puddy is religious but doesn't care that she's going to Hell. A priest informs them they're both going to Hell for premarital sex.

Jerry catches Uncle Leo shoplifting at a bookstore. Turns out Leo has a prior conviction.

Jerry catches Uncle Leo shoplifting at a bookstore. Turns out Leo has a prior conviction.

Jerry catches Uncle Leo shoplifting at a bookstore. Turns out Leo has a prior conviction.

George finds his legendary Frogger high score still exists in the machine at a closing pizza place. He has to keep it plugged in during the move or lose everything.

George finds his legendary Frogger high score still exists in the machine at a closing pizza place. He has to keep it plugged in during the move or lose everything.

Jerry sleeps with his maid. She stops cleaning but keeps taking the money.

Jerry sleeps with his maid. She stops cleaning but keeps taking the money.

The gang gets stuck in Puerto Rican Day Parade traffic. Kramer accidentally sets a flag on fire.

The gang gets stuck in Puerto Rican Day Parade traffic. Kramer accidentally sets a flag on fire.

NBC gives them a pilot. They celebrate with a private jet to Paris, the plane crashes, and they watch a man get carjacked while cracking jokes instead of helping.

NBC gives them a pilot. They celebrate with a private jet to Paris, the plane crashes, and they watch a man get carjacked while cracking jokes instead of helping.

The trial becomes a parade of every person the gang wronged. The jury convicts them.