Vol. 7, No. 5 · 25¢ thefestivusproject.com

THE DAILY NOTHING

October 19, 1995 New York Final Edition
S07E05 · Season 7, Episode 5 of 180

The Hot Tub

Elaine hosts Trinidadian marathon runner Jean-Paul, who famously overslept and missed the Olympics, and Jerry takes over wake-up duty after losing faith in Elaine's faulty alarm clock — but Jean-Paul gets thrown out of Elaine's building for calling a baby a bastard (learned from George's Texan clients), forcing him to bounce between a hotel and Jerry's apartment. Kramer's hot tub heat pump blows the power in Jerry's building overnight, killing every alarm clock, and Jerry and Jean-Paul barely make it to the starting line — where Jean-Paul takes the lead only to grab a cup of Kramer's scalding hot tea near the finish, mistaking it for water. George's habit of calling Houston Astros reps "son of a bitch" as a term of endearment alarms Mr. Wilhelm into thinking George is cracking under pressure, earning him a mandatory hot tub session with Steinbrenner.

What's The Deal?

George's GirlfriendSusan Ross
George's JobAssistant to the traveling secretary, Yankees
Elaine's JobJ. Peterman Catalog
Elaine's ThingHosting Olympic marathon runner Jean-Paul
Kramer's SchemeHot tub heat pump causes power outage, killing every alarm clock in Jerry's building
References
New York City MarathonHouston AstrosSummer Olympics

The Full Story

Elaine has a Trinidadian and Tobagonian runner named Jean-Paul as her house guest. He is in town for the New York City Marathon. Jean-Paul overslept and missed the marathon at the last Olympic Games, and Jerry obsesses with ensuring it does not happen again. Jerry loses faith in Elaine's ability to get Jean-Paul to the race in time after learning she is using a faulty alarm clock that caused Jerry to miss a flight; and burns a muffin by setting the microwave to two minutes rather than twenty seconds. Elaine is writing a story for new Himalayan walking shoes in the Peterman catalog, but suffers from writer's block.

With little to do at work, George pretends to be busy by looking frustrated, causing his supervisor Mr. Wilhelm to fear he is stressed out from his work. He sends George to meet with some visiting Houston Astros representatives and "show them a good time." While drinking with the Texans George picks up their habit of amiable swearing, specifically "bastard" and "son of a bitch."

Kramer falls asleep in his new hot tub and the heat pump breaks, leaving him to spend the night in freezing cold water. As a result, his core temperature drops and he is constantly cold. While eating with Jerry, George and Kramer in the coffee shop, Jean-Paul hears George's rampant swearing and believes all Americans speak this way. Later, in Elaine's apartment, he calls her neighbor's baby a "bastard". He is caught by the landlord, calls him a "son of a bitch" and gets thrown out, forcing him to spend the night with Jerry. Jerry takes him to a hotel but gets into an argument with the desk attendant while attempting to place a wake-up call. Paranoid, Jerry insists they leave and brings Jean-Paul to his own apartment to sleep. Kramer buys a powerful heat pump to work his hot tub and raise his core temperature. Overnight the heat pump causes a power outage in Jerry's building and his alarm clocks fail to go off. Elaine spends the night looking for Jean-Paul, unaware he was thrown out. Her search for him in a dark, desolate neighborhood inspires her story for the Himalayan walking shoes.

Jerry and Jean-Paul oversleep but Jerry gets him to the race in time. Jean-Paul is in first place as he nears the finish line. As he runs past Jerry, Kramer and Elaine he grabs a cup of hot tea from Kramer (who is still attempting to raise his core temperature), mistaking it for water, and scalds himself.

Mr. Wilhelm overhears George on the phone with his Texan buddies, calling them "sons of bitches" and "bastards", unaware they are being friendly. Afraid George has cracked under the pressure, Wilhelm sends George to Mr. Steinbrenner, who says to relax George must use a hot tub. George is forced to sit in a hot tub with Steinbrenner as he rambles on.