Vol. 3, No. 15 · 25¢ thefestivusproject.com

THE DAILY NOTHING

January 29, 1992 New York Final Edition
S03E15 · Season 3, Episode 15 of 180

The Suicide

Jerry's neighbor Martin attempts suicide after his girlfriend Gina leaves him, and Gina immediately comes on to Jerry while Martin lies in a coma down the hall. George visits a psychic who begins warning him about his Cayman Islands trip but goes into labor before delivering the punchline, leaving him paralyzed with dread. Kramer takes George's ticket instead, plays nude backgammon with Elle Macpherson at a Sports Illustrated shoot, and gets a mild jellyfish sting — the disaster the psychic was predicting.

What's The Deal?

Jerry's GirlfriendGinaHis neighbor's girlfriend who dumped him right before his suicide attempt
George's JobUnemployed
Elaine's ThingFasting for 72 hours for an ulcer test
Kramer's SchemeRecovering his vacuum cleaner from comatose Martin
References
Sports Illustrated Swimsuit IssueElle Macpherson

The Full Story

Elaine, who must fast for 72 hours before an ulcer test, is overeating to prepare. While arguing with George over how much a Drake's Coffee Cake costs, Jerry is intimidated by his neighbor Martin (C.E. Grimes) for consulting Martin's girlfriend Gina (Gina Gallego). George believes he had a dream presaging this encounter, so Elaine suggests that he consult a psychic.

Gina dumps Martin, who attempts suicide by overdose, and becomes hospitalized in a coma. Gina brazenly comes on to Jerry, and mocks him for still fearing the comatose Martin. Kramer, learning about Martin from Newman's gossiping, imagines that coma cases will attract looters, and becomes desperate to get back his vacuum cleaner from Martin.

The psychic impresses George with her intuitions, then begins warning him about a trip he booked to the Cayman Islands. Elaine repeatedly interrupts to lecture the psychic about smoking while pregnant. The psychic kicks them out, leaving George immensely paranoid about possible disasters.

Gina insists, over Jerry's reluctance, on being seen together, and Newman immediately spots them. George and Jerry deliver Elaine to her ulcer test, while Kramer and Newman visit Martin. George offers his ticket to Kramer, while Jerry offers to buy Newman's silence. Newman turns down the Caymans trip, but caves to a Drake's Coffee Cake from Jerry.

George meets the psychic while she is in labor, and desperately tries to coax out her warning as she gives birth. Elaine, still waiting and delirious from hunger, barges in on Newman and steals his coffee cake, just as Martin wakes up. Newman spitefully rats out Jerry, and a brawl breaks out with Martin throttling Jerry while Kramer demands his vacuum.

Kramer's Caymans trip coincides with a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue photo shoot at his hotel, allowing him to befriend the models at a nude beach, and play nude backgammon with Elle Macpherson, in George's place. Incidentally, he gets a mild jellyfish sting, and deduces that this was the warning meant for George. Meanwhile, Gina and Martin have moved in together. Elaine, having spoiled her fast, is forced to start over.