Elaine is watching Jerry's apartment while he goes on tour in Minneapolis. Jerry briefs her on the apartment's defects and eccentricities, and George adds even more. George offers to show Jerry an Upper West Side apartment next to Central Park. Elaine hopes to move into Jerry's apartment and escape her roommate, who noisily practices for a production of A Chorus Line at all hours.
Jerry has no time to consider the offer before heading out. He returns to find his TV, VCR, and other valuables stolen, because, while Elaine was out, Kramer left the front door wide open to borrow a spatula, then forgot to come back while watching The Bold and the Beautiful. Since Jerry bought a secure lock instead of insurance, he has no theft coverage. Kramer vows to find the stolen goods, but Jerry expects nothing as he files a police report.
When George finds Jerry's lobby door not locking, Jerry decides to see the other apartment. Everyone—even George—is surprised to find a fireplace, garden, natural lighting, and a walk-in closet. Jerry imagines hiring many helpers he will need to tip, but decides to move in. Elaine, already planning her move into Jerry's place, drives a hard bargain to buy his couch.
George, now thoroughly regretful, offers to take the new apartment in case Jerry gets cold feet. Neither wants to take the apartment away from the other, while Elaine wants either of them to vacate. After they flip a coin, Jerry plays "choose" for it, and wins the apartment to George's great disappointment. Kramer baselessly suspects a neighbor from England was the thief, and begins hassling the man.
At Monk's Café, George still can't let the apartment go, and he and Jerry finally back out together. A waitress overhears and ends up leasing the apartment, inviting them and Elaine to her housewarming. Elaine is still stuck with her roommate after hastily renting a U-Haul and throwing out her own couch. All three mope as they learn of the many benefits the new tenants have reaped from the apartment. In their dejection, they overhear someone else giving up his apartment, and all inquire at once.