Vol. 2, No. 12 · 25¢ thefestivusproject.com

THE DAILY NOTHING

June 26, 1991 New York Final Edition
S02E12 · Season 2, Episode 12 of 180

The Busboy

George reports a burning menu to the restaurant manager, getting a busboy fired, then makes things worse by losing the man's cat and breaking his lamp during a guilt-driven apology visit. Elaine, trapped with a visiting admirer from Seattle, fakes her period for a week and plans his airport departure with military precision — only to oversleep and miss the flight. The busboy returns to thank George for inadvertently saving his life from a gas explosion, then collides with Elaine's houseguest on the way out, injuring them both.

What's The Deal?

George's JobUnemployed
Elaine's BoyfriendEddieOverstays his welcome for a week
Elaine's ThingFakes her period to avoid houseguest
Kramer's SchemeLeaves Antonio's apartment door open, cat escapes
Dark Turn
Gas explosion at restaurant kills replacement busboy
Antonio and Eddie collide and tumble down stairs with crippling injuries

The Full Story

Out at dinner, Jerry and Elaine peek at a presumed hair transplantation recipient, while George, regretting trying pesto, eats their food. Elaine is smug that Eddie, a visitor from Seattle, was so taken by her that he is returning to stay over for a week. George stamps out a burning menu that a busboy carelessly left next to a candle, and informs the manager while Elaine exaggeratedly complains. The manager reprimands the busboy and fires him. George and Elaine regret causing this, while Jerry, with his conscience clear, guilt-trips them.

Elaine manages to get the ex-busboy's address so that George can go apologize and offer help. With Jerry busy and Elaine borrowing his car to pick up Eddie, Jerry sends Kramer to back up George. George is intimidated by Antonio (David Labiosa), the ex-busboy, who stares him down in silence and only acknowledges Kramer speaking Spanish to him. Because they left his apartment door open, Antonio's cat gets out, and he finally loses his composure and screams at them in English. They fail to find the cat, and Kramer breaks Antonio's lamp. George leaves Antonio his business card.

A week later, George is paranoid that Antonio is stalking him. George and Kramer make Jerry relay their finger-pointing at each other over the phone. Elaine, having quickly fell out of love with Eddie, spent the week faking her period and is now hellbent on seeing him off to the airport punctually. Elaine obsessively plans every detail of the airport trip, even paying a taxi driver to teach her a shortcut off the dreaded Van Wyck Expressway, and buying a new alarm clock.

The alarm does not go off, and Elaine and Eddie oversleep. With only one hour before the flight, Elaine haphazardly packs Eddie's suitcase with maniacal impatience, and sets out with them both half-dressed and barefoot. As George recites his encyclopedic knowledge of public restrooms to Jerry, Elaine arrives, disheveled and crazed from her heroic race against time—thwarted only by a pileup on the very same shortcut she paid for.

Kramer lets Antonio in, to George's horror, but Antonio poignantly thanks George for providentially sparing him from a gas explosion at the restaurant, which killed the busboy who replaced him. He has also found a better job and his cat, in one fell swoop. Leaving, he and Eddie bump into each other. They fight, tumbling down stairs and suffering crippling injuries. George is stuck caring for Antonio's cat, and Elaine for Eddie, indefinitely.