In a locker room, Jerry spots retired professional baseball player Keith Hernandez. George ridicules Jerry for thinking Hernandez might recognize him, but Hernandez does just so, and they exchange mutual admiration. Jerry gives Hernandez his number, then anxiously commiserates with Elaine over men who "don't call".
Afraid of "coming on too strong", Jerry dithers over calling Hernandez, dressing to meet him, and shaking his hand afterwards, and waits for the "right time" to mention his hits during game 6 of the 1986 World Series. Elaine's reality check that "he's a guy" confuses Jerry's feelings further. Hernandez cancels on Jerry to see Elaine instead; Jerry becomes jealous, but does not know whether of Hernandez or Elaine.
Kramer and Newman hold a grudge against Hernandez because, after once costing the Mets a game against the Phillies, he supposedly spit on both of them outside the stadium. Jerry, knowing their story well, conducts a mock-courtroom reconstruction of the scene with a flashback parodying the Zapruder film, convincing Elaine that only an unidentified "second spitter" could have bounced the spit off Kramer to hit Newman.
George is due to apply for an unemployment benefits extension, and must prove to a Department of Labor agent, Mrs. Sokol, that he is job-hunting. Under pressure, George fabricates having interviewed with "Vandelay Industries" for a "latex salesman" job, using Jerry's number as their contact. Frantic to let Jerry in on the con, George runs afoul of police for throwing someone out of a phone booth, and gets thrown out of a cab for his impatience.
Jerry cannot take the latex ruse seriously, but plays along. Kramer, who was not looped in, answers Sokol's call truthfully—ignoring George who, overhearing from the bathroom, barges out and faceplants with his pants down.
George weasels out of Mrs. Sokol terminating his benefits by flattering her stone-faced daughter Carrie (Carol Ann Susi), and gets set up with her. Carrie is easily won over by being treated to a Big Mac, but still looks down on George and dumps him for being unemployed.
Kramer drags the unenthusiastic Jerry to see their former neighbors' new baby, but Kramer mishandles the baby.
Hernandez regales Elaine with his game 6 feats, then passionately kisses her, dispelling his inner doubt with the reminder "I'm Keith Hernandez". Despite great chemistry between them, because he is a smoker, Elaine breaks up with Hernandez.
Jerry agrees to help Hernandez move, despite not being emotionally ready so soon. Kramer and George take him to task for debasing himself for a man he "hardly knows", and scandalously suggest that he would drive Hernandez to the airport next. George incidentally divulges his life goal: sleeping with a tall woman.
Tasked with disassembling and hauling heavy items down Hernandez's stairs in freezing cold, Jerry gets cold feet and backs out. Kramer and Newman confront Hernandez, but he remembers that relief pitcher Roger McDowell, whom Kramer and Newman had been harassing that day, was the real spitter. Chastened by their mistake, Kramer and Newman help Hernandez move, as he cautions them to handle his things "like a baby".
George earns one last reprieve from Mrs. Sokol by promising to have Hernandez meet her, but he rushes over too late. He calls out to the departing Hernandez in vain, but is delighted when a tall woman arrives to return his dropped wallet.