Vol. 8, No. 12 · 25¢ thefestivusproject.com

THE DAILY NOTHING

January 16, 1997 New York Final Edition
S08E12 · Season 8, Episode 12 of 180

The Money

Morty and Helen sell their Cadillac to Klompus for $6,000 to help Jerry after his bounced check, so Jerry flies to Florida and pays Klompus $14,000 to get it back — Klompus drives it into a swamp, Jerry ends up sleeping in the car after a wisecrack about the astronaut pen, and Morty gets hired at Peterman just as Peterman returns from Myanmar, only to insult Peterman's stories and get fired. George discovers his parents probably have money since they never spend any, but his questions about family life expectancy make Frank and Estelle realize they could die any day, so they start spending lavishly — then move to Florida on Kramer's advice while the Seinfelds downgrade to a trailer. Kramer can't sleep because his girlfriend Emily has "Jimmy legs," which leads him to discover that the Costanzas have separate beds due to Estelle's "Jimmy arms."

What's The Deal?

George's JobAssistant to the traveling secretary, Yankees
Elaine's JobJ. Peterman Catalog
Elaine's ThingGets Morty hired at Peterman, he insults Peterman's stories and gets fired
Kramer's SchemeGirlfriend has Jimmy legs, he has nightmares
References
Def JamBloomingdale'sBally's Atlantic CityGolden NuggetCarrot TopPierre CardinKinko'sSlappy WhiteSun SentinelAstronaut pen
Dark Turn
Jerry sleeps in Cadillac after Klompus refuses him over astronaut pen crack

The Full Story

Morty and Helen Seinfeld sell their Cadillac to Jack Klompus for $6,000 to give Jerry after he bounced a check in the previous episode. To refute their perception that he has money trouble, Jerry flies to Florida to buy the Cadillac back from Klompus, who sells it for $14,000 but insists on using it for the weekend. George is jealous of Elaine's J. Peterman stock options, so Jerry points out that George's parents must be moderately wealthy, since they never spend money. George asks about his family's history; Frank and Estelle Costanza tell him of young deaths on both sides, seemingly by genetic causes, so George anticipates a big inheritance before too long. However, the talk makes his parents realize how little time they probably have left, so they begin lavishly spending.

Klompus drives the car into a swamp. Jerry returns to Florida and pays for the damages. Klompus complains about losing his astronaut pen; Jerry responds with wisecracks. Strapped for cash and credit, Jerry sleeps in the Cadillac after Klompus refuses to let him stay over, irritated at his crack about the astronaut pen. Fearing he'll have to financially support Jerry, Morty applies for a job at J. Peterman; Elaine hires him just as Mr. Peterman returns from Myanmar. Peterman's return sends her stock options soaring, but since he is back in charge she was demoted to her old position and therefore no longer has access to them. Elaine becomes annoyed with Morty's presence at her work, so at George's suggestion she schedules a late meeting. The resulting postponement of dinnertime makes Morty crabby, so he derides Peterman's stories and walks out in the middle of the meeting. Peterman fires him.

Kramer can't sleep due to his girlfriend Emily's "Jimmy legs", so he talks her into letting him return to his own apartment after sex. Not wanting to wake his wife and son, at night Morty uses his exercise equipment on Kramer's doorknob, making Kramer think a burglar is trying to get in. He is now too terrified to sleep alone, but Emily has found she sleeps better without Kramer, who screams in his sleep. Kramer advises the Costanzas that they can't possibly spend their entire savings in New York before they die, and at his advice they move to Florida. George is upset at the prospect of losing his remaining inheritance, but ultimately is satisfied that his parents are in Florida. Kramer and Emily spend the night in the Costanzas' house since Frank and Estelle have separate beds due to Estelle's "Jimmy arms".

The Seinfelds move into a trailer, and plan to sell the Cadillac again out of spite. Frank wants to head back to New York after seeing Jerry sleeping in his car, mistaking him for a bum, but Estelle refuses.