Jerry and his girlfriend Meryl flirt playfully after a night together. Jerry finds a locket in his dry-cleaned jacket and returns it to the dry cleaner. Grateful to get his cherished memento back, the owner gives a 25% discount for Jerry and his family. Meryl spontaneously claims to be Jerry's wife, and Jerry plays along amorously. They carry on their act over breakfast at Monk's, where, following the example of Kramer and his African-American girlfriend Anna, they bring along "outside syrup" for their pancakes.
Waiting for George at the health club, Elaine runs into fellow member Greg, who surprises her with an open-lipped kiss; Elaine becomes interested in Greg because he otherwise negs her. George fails to meet up because Greg saw him urinating in the shower. Kramer wheedles Jerry into taking his quilt for the discount; Jerry runs into Meryl and Uncle Leo back at the dry cleaner, and is forced to drop his "marriage" bombshell on his unsuspecting uncle.
Elaine searches for romantic signals in everything Greg does. She goes from disappointment when he wipes off a water bottle she shares with him, to encouragement when he fails to wipe off his sweat-drenched exercise machine for her. Because Greg plans to get George kicked out of the club, George demands that Elaine threaten to report Greg's sweaty machine as leverage, unsympathetic that this would torpedo Elaine's chances with Greg. However, Greg actually had eyes for the club manager all along, tipping Elaine over to George's side.
Jerry and Meryl bicker like an old married couple over a missing can opener, then make up at bedtime as they sleep platonically. Jerry meets an attractive woman who cannot afford dry cleaning, and adulterously gives her his discount despite her guilty conscience. When Meryl finds the other woman's laundry, Jerry demands a "divorce", and they realize that a pretend marriage was more than they were ready for. Meryl leaves, keeping Jerry's syrup to remember him by.
Kramer is so sleep-deprived without his quilt that he starts keeling over and looking pale. He goes for a tan to make himself presentable to meet Anna's parents, but falls asleep on the tanning bed. He gets so tanned as to look made up in blackface, appalling Anna's family.