Vol. 9, No. 11 · 25¢ thefestivusproject.com

THE DAILY NOTHING

January 8, 1998 New York Final Edition
S09E11 · Season 9, Episode 11 of 180

The Dealership

Jerry plans to buy a car with an insider deal from David Puddy, now a salesman, but when Elaine relays Jerry's criticism of Puddy's high-fiving, the couple breaks up and Puddy starts ringing up every possible charge — Jerry reconciles them to restore his deal, then loses it by refusing to give Puddy a high five. George puts a dollar into a vending machine for a Twix bar that gets stuck, and when the mechanic denies eating it and claims it was a 5th Avenue bar, George sets up a ten-candy-bar blind taste test to expose him — only to have the dealership staff eat the entire lineup. Kramer takes Rick the salesman on a test drive that becomes an experiment in how far below empty the gas gauge can go, runs out of fuel within sight of the dealership, and walks away without taking Rick's card.

What's The Deal?

Elaine's BoyfriendDavid PuddyWon't stop high-fiving
Elaine's JobJ. Peterman Catalog
Kramer's SchemeTest driving a car to see how far below empty it can go
References
Twix5th Avenue bar

The Full Story

Jerry plans to buy a car with an insider deal from David Puddy, who has been promoted to car salesman. George gives Jerry tips to avoid being conned. Jerry complains to Elaine about Puddy's new habit of giving high fives, which he considers crude and primitive. Elaine passes on these criticisms to Puddy, leading them to break up. Jerry's insider deal becomes less favorable, as Puddy starts ringing up charges for extras.

Kramer tells a salesman, Rick, that he makes the car buying decisions for Jerry and demands a test drive. Kramer gives the car a full test of a Kramer daily routine, testing the limits of its fuel tank (as he often drives at near empty when borrowing Jerry's car, to avoid paying for gas). Rick is thrilled when they get the gasoline needle below the red line. With the dealership in sight, they drive on to see how far they can go. The car finally runs out of gas. Kramer exits the car and leaves without taking Rick's business card.

George borrows a dollar from Jerry to buy a Twix candy bar from a vending machine, but the machine rejects the crinkled bill. He asks a mechanic for change; the mechanic says he has none. George inserts change collected from under the vending machine, but the Twix bar catches on its ring. George seeks assistance from a salesman. When they return to the machine, the dangling Twix bar and the one behind it are gone. George sees the mechanic eating them, but he claims it was a 5th Avenue bar.

Jerry enlists George's tough negotiating skills to bargain with Puddy, but all George can think about is the Twix bar. George complains to the manager about the mechanic, then sets up a ten-candy bar lineup in order to prove the mechanic cannot tell a Twix bar from a 5th Avenue bar, only to find his lineup being eaten by the dealership staff. Irritated by their incorrect guesses at what they are eating, he reveals that the entire lineup was Twix bars, in an attempt to set up the mechanic. To get a great deal on his car, Jerry reconciles Elaine and Puddy. Puddy agrees to give Jerry a great deal, but Jerry loses it by refusing Puddy a high five. Jerry, George, and Elaine take a cab ride home.