At Rick Barr Properties, George barges into his boss Rick Levitan's office, quitting his job while burning his bridges in a tirade.
Kramer complains to Jerry about their long-suicidal neighbor Newman, who repeatedly calls in the wee hours threatening to jump, causing Kramer to start calling his bluff. Jerry is going to the laundromat, so Kramer piggybacks his own laundry into Jerry's load. Jerry is so wary of contact with Kramer's privates that he pays for two washing machines.
George tracks down Jerry to boast about quitting, because getting singled out for using Levitan's private bathroom was his last straw. However, despite knowing the real estate sector is not hiring, he has no job lined up. With the wind taken out of his sails, George has Jerry play job counselor as he lists off his other interests. Jerry points out that watching sports or movies falls short of a job qualification, then suggests that he return to work as if nothing had happened.
George tries to blend into the office meeting on Monday morning, but Levitan does not let him off the hook for the tirade, declaring that George cannot win against him. With an office anniversary party coming up, George plots to take revenge by spiking Levitan's drink with a Mickey, because it's "what they would do in the movies". He convinces Elaine to help distract Levitan, informing her that he is not only a sexist adulterer, but also does not recycle. Meanwhile, Newman tries to guilt Kramer by faking a fatal jump from the safety of the second floor. Jerry gets his laundry back, but cannot find $1,500 he hid in the laundry bag; the laundromat owner unsympathetically points to his liability disclaimer as Jerry and Kramer accuse him of theft.
At the party, Levitan is indifferent to Elaine's distractions until she pretends to be a nudist. He is enthralled as she blithely claims to spend every opportunity naked and let men have their way with her. George evicts an unfriendly coworker sitting next to Levitan by threatening to reveal her beehive hairdo as a wig. George spikes the drink undetected, but Levitan is so charmed by Elaine that he immediately gives a toast welcoming George back to the company, with the added privilege of using the bathroom. George tries to stop Levitan from drinking, but changes his mind when Levitan patronizingly roasts him.
Kramer insists on taking revenge on the laundromat by pouring cement into a washer, where it will solidify after a wash cycle. Jerry tries to distract the owner, but Kramer blatantly stumbles and falls carrying a heavy laundry bag of cement, then struggles to open a washer and gets cement in his eyes. He turns on the washer and returns to the storefront, half-covered in cement.
George returns to dejectedly racking his brains for tenuous job qualifications. Kramer finds Jerry's money in his own laundry all along; it happens to cover the damage they are liable for. Newman gets Kramer's attention, shouting from the roof offscreen, but forgets all about jumping as they discuss their plans for later.