After Jerry's car is stolen, he calls the thief over his own car phone. The thief (voiced by Larry David) refuses to return the car, but agrees to mail back some gloves Kramer left inside. Jerry learns that his car was stolen because Sid, the neighborhood man paid to re-park cars on their alternate side parking street, left the keys inside after being distracted by Woody Allen filming a movie. George takes over for Sid while he is away, believing the job will be easy money.
Kramer lucks into an extra role in the movie, then amuses Allen with a pratfall and receives a speaking line: "These pretzels are making me thirsty." The group workshops the line, with George turning it into a lament for his unemployed, single life as he struggles to corral cars.
Elaine decides to break up with Owen, a 66-year-old writer, but he falls unconscious before she can. She brings him to Jerry's apartment and they call an ambulance while trying to incorrectly treat Owen for hypoglycemia. George's triple-parking creates gridlock that holds up both the ambulance and the movie shoot. Distracted by the infuriated Woody Allen, George hits the ambulance in Jerry's rental car.
Sid's business is scuttled by George having mishandled many cars. The ensuing fiasco makes the newspaper, which reports that Owen's stroke was exacerbated by the delayed paramedics, and that Allen is renouncing filming in New York City. Jerry, having failed to read his rental agreement, is liable for thousands in damage because his insurance does not cover other drivers.
Despite fearing that she will be accused of abandoning the paralyzed Owen, Elaine breaks up with him anyway, offering rationalizations while he is unable to reply. Jerry and Elaine both invoke Kramer's line to lament their predicaments.
Later, Owen recovers and confesses that he was using Elaine for sex. Kramer finally films his line, slamming down a beer glass and cutting Allen with flying glass. He is fired, but gets his gloves back from the car thief.