Impressed by how attractive George is with his toupée, Kramer sets up a date for him. As he does not have a picture of her, they go to the police station where a sketch artist friend draws them a picture. There, Jerry's eye is caught by Sgt. Cathy Tierny. On their way, Kramer gives Chinese food leftovers to a homeless man. After eating, he refuses to return Kramer's Tupperware container, leaving him no way to save his meals.
Elaine goes to see Swan Lake as a beard for a gay man whose boss is conservative. At Monk's Café, Elaine talks with Jerry about how nice Robert is, and says she wants to convert him to heterosexuality.
Jerry is introduced to Sgt. Tierny. She mentions Melrose Place, which Jerry says he has never watched. His manner is unconvincing, so she proposes using a polygraph to see if he is lying. George meets his date, Denise, and discovers she is bald. He goes to Jerry's apartment and vents his disgust at Denise's baldness. Outraged at his hypocrisy, Elaine tears off his toupee and throws it out the window. The homeless man takes it.
Wig-less George tells Jerry he is again himself, and will continue seeing Denise. When Jerry asks his advice on the lie detector test, he tells him that "It's not a lie if you believe it." Jerry takes the polygraph test, and cracks under questioning with regard to controversial plot developments in Melrose Place, which provoke him to vent his strong opinions on those controversies, exposing his familiarity with the series.
After a date, Elaine successfully invites Robert to her apartment. However, Robert quickly converts back to homosexuality. Denise dumps George, who becomes upset at being "rejected by a bald woman". Kramer assumes Denise dumped him because she learned he is bald, and blames Elaine for throwing out his toupee. Elaine refuses to apologize, insisting that the wig made him look like an idiot and act like a jerk. Jerry, Elaine, George, and Kramer all settle down to watch the new episode of Melrose Place.
While standing in police lineups for money, Kramer is falsely accused by the homeless man of a jewelry store robbery.