Vol. 8, No. 2 · 25¢ thefestivusproject.com

THE DAILY NOTHING

September 26, 1996 New York Final Edition
S08E02 · Season 8, Episode 2 of 180

The Soul Mate

George suspects the Susan Ross Foundation board thinks he murdered his fiancée after the chairman clears his throat before calling her death an "accident," so he plants a tape recorder in his briefcase — and retrieves it crushed, with a recording of screams and a thud that the board unconvincingly explains as a chair being moved, while they casually agree after he leaves that he definitely killed Susan. Kramer falls for Jerry's girlfriend Pam and enlists Newman to feed him romantic lines Cyrano-style, which works until Jerry convinces Newman to stop helping in exchange for advice on wooing Elaine — specifically that she doesn't want children. Pam can't choose between Jerry and Kramer and mentions she doesn't want kids, so both men line up for vasectomies with Newman — but Kramer is the only one who goes through with it before they realize Elaine changed her mind.

What's The Deal?

Jerry's GirlfriendPamCan't choose between Jerry and Kramer
George's JobBoard member, Susan Ross Foundation
Elaine's BoyfriendKevinGot a vasectomy, which makes Elaine reconsider whether she wants children
Elaine's JobActing president, J. Peterman Catalog
Elaine's ThingStarts dating Kevin after overhearing him agree she doesn't want children, then reconsiders when he reveals he got a vasectomy — realizing she might want kids after all
Kramer's SchemeFalls for Jerry's girlfriend, enlists Newman as his Cyrano
References
Jerry LewisNewman's obsession with Elaine
Dark Turn
The board casually agrees George killed Susan after he leaves the room

The Full Story

The foundation chair, Wyck, clears his throat just before describing Susan's death as an "accident", making George suspect Wyck thinks he murdered Susan. Jerry suggests he put a running tape recorder in his briefcase and leave it behind at the next board meeting so he can hear what the board members say about him in his absence. Following Jerry's advice, George returns to find the briefcase damaged and the tape with a recording of the horrified exclamations "What are you doing?!" and "Dear God!" followed by a loud thud. After struggling to come up with a theory which could explain this, George confronts the board with the recording. Wyck claims Quint was moving a chair and dropped it on the briefcase. He offers no explanation for the horrified cries, but George is satisfied with his story and leaves with his briefcase this time. He thus misses the board members casually commenting that they all believe he murdered Susan.

Elaine insists she has no desire to have a baby. When a man, Kevin, overhears her declaration and seconds it, she starts dating him. However, when Kevin tells her he got a vasectomy, she gets second thoughts about whether she wants to have children.

Kramer falls in love with Jerry's girlfriend Pam, but is restrained by loyalty to Jerry. When Elaine tells Kramer that Jerry is not in love with Pam, he gets the confidence to confront Jerry about his feelings. However, his praises for Pam convince Jerry that she is too good a woman to let go of. Kramer enlists Newman's help; the smooth-talking Newman feeds Kramer romantic lines which enable him to win Pam's heart. When Newman taunts Jerry over this, Jerry convinces him to stop helping Kramer in exchange for advice on wooing his obsession, Elaine. His advice is that Elaine doesn't want children.

Pam tells Jerry and Kramer that she has feelings for them both and can't choose between them. She mentions she doesn't want to have children, so they line up with Newman for their own vasectomies. Elaine and Kevin go to get his vasectomy reversed. Realizing Elaine must have changed her mind about children, Jerry and Newman leave before their scheduled vasectomies, but after Kramer gets his.