George tries to break up with his girlfriend, Maura, but she will not agree to it. George decides that cheating on Maura is his ticket out. He starts dating a co-worker, Loretta, but she says she will not have sex with him until they've built up a relationship. George tries "accidentally" making dates with both women at Monk's at the same time, but both women agree to having a polyamorous relationship with George.
Jerry has purchased cufflinks worn by Jerry Lewis in Cinderfella. He plans to use them as a conversation starter with Lewis when he goes to a roast at the Friar's Club.
Elaine's new boyfriend Glenn puzzles and intrigues her because he won't tell her his phone number or where he works. On the street, he avoids a woman, and Elaine jumps to the conclusion that he is married. Glenn takes her to a squalid apartment which she assumes he has rented for the extramarital affair. However, the woman Glenn ran from knocks at the door and introduces herself as his welfare caseworker; the squalid apartment is his home. Elaine adjusts to Glenn being poor, but while at his apartment they are walked in on by another woman, who introduces herself as Glenn's wife.
With burglaries occurring in the building, Kramer obtains a strongbox to hold his valuables. He hides his key in Jerry's apartment, but keeps choosing places that Jerry uses every day, like his silverware drawer, his shirt pocket, and his intercom. This causes the intercom to short out, so Jerry has to go downstairs to let George in. A man, Phil, says he forgot his key and asks to be let in. Jerry denies him entry, explaining that there have been burglaries and he does not recognize him. Later Jerry bumps into Phil in the elevator, and learns he lives right next door to Kramer.
Giving up on Jerry's apartment, Kramer hides his key at Phil's, in his parrot's food dish. The parrot chokes on the key and dies. Since Kramer never told Phil about the key, Phil assumes Jerry poisoned the parrot as revenge for it making a mess on Jerry's door. Jerry needs his cufflinks for the roast, and Kramer has locked them in his strongbox, so Kramer and Jerry go to the pet cemetery to exhume the key. Phil catches Jerry while going to mourn. George asks what's in the strongbox and opens it up, making Kramer realize he forgot to lock it, so their attempted grave robbery was purposeless.