Vol. 8, No. 1 · 25¢ thefestivusproject.com

THE DAILY NOTHING

September 19, 1996 New York Final Edition
S08E01 · Season 8, Episode 1 of 180

The Foundation

The Rosses create the Susan Ross Foundation and conscript George onto the board, consuming all the free time his fiancée's death was supposed to liberate — and he learns that the Rosses had planned to give them a townhome and a fortune as wedding presents, now all going to charity. Peterman suffers a nervous breakdown and disappears to Myanmar, leaving Elaine to run the catalog with false confidence borrowed from Kramer, who has been dominating his karate class — until Elaine discovers his opponents are children, shoves him down, and the kids later lure him to an alley for revenge. Jerry and Jeannie Steinman simultaneously break off their engagement, and Jerry's research at Monk's reveals that widowers are the most attractive category to women, but George is stuck at the foundation and can't capitalize.

What's The Deal?

Jerry's GirlfriendJeannie SteinmanToo similar to Jerry — they break up simultaneously
George's JobBoard member, Susan Ross Foundation
Elaine's JobActing president, J. Peterman Catalog
Elaine's ThingPuts urban sombrero on catalog cover, learns it diminishes alertness
Kramer's SchemeDominates karate class, doesn't mention opponents are children
References
Urban sombreroStar Trek II: The Wrath of KhanStar Trek III: The Search for SpockViva ZapataSammy Davis Jr.
Dark Turn
George celebrates Susan's death and is immediately trapped by her memorial foundation

The Full Story

While George wishes to move on from his fiancée Susan's death, her parents want to keep her memory alive by creating a foundation in her honor, inspired by words of comfort Jerry told them while visiting Susan's grave. Interrupting George's celebration of his rediscovered bachelorhood, the Rosses ask him to sit on the board of directors. George is horrified at the prospect of all his free time being sacrificed to the foundation but uncomfortable with refusing.

In a last demonstration of their remarkable similarity, Jerry and Jeannie Steinman simultaneously voice a desire to break off their engagement. Dolores from "The Junior Mint" asks Jerry out on a coffee date; he realizes that her interest in him was renewed because she heard of his engagement, which proves his willingness to commit. However, she doesn't believe him when he tells her the breakup was mutual and storms out. Still intrigued by how the engagement earned him a date, Jerry makes up a questionnaire to determine how a man's relationship history affects his attractiveness to women.

After a nervous breakdown, J. Peterman runs off to Myanmar and leaves Elaine in charge of his catalog. Kramer convinces Elaine she can run the company by telling her how he became a dominating karate student. She impresses the employees with her commanding attitude and puts her idea for an "urban sombrero" on the cover. Jerry, having learned that Kramer's karate classmates are preadolescent children, suggests Elaine visit Kramer at his class, hoping to wreck her newfound confidence. When she sees that Kramer has only been fighting kids, she angrily shoves him down. Emboldened by this, the kids lure Kramer to an alley and beat him up in retaliation. Elaine hears that her urban sombrero diminishes the alertness of those who wear it, further ruining her confidence.

George is informed that Susan's parents planned to give him and Susan an opulent townhome and a considerable portion of their riches as wedding presents, but now he is stuck at the foundation as her possessions are auctioned off to benefit various charities. Jerry calls to inform him that widowers got the best responses on his research from employees at Monk's, but George's obligation to the foundation prevents him from acting on it.